Waking up good morning to you, my dear. I'm waking up enduring my biggest fear.

The clatter of something hitting the ground jars me out of whatever fugue I fell into. On the floor next to me is the fallen X-Box controller. On the tv screen some armored up cat creature is getting mauled by a walrus looking thing. I glance behind me at Alex. He's sprawled out, eyes closed, hand dangling off the edge of the futon. Rubbing my own eyes, I check the time on one of the lit up computer screens in the room. It's about an hour until dawn, and he's already fast asleep. Grabbing the controller, I rise to my feet, placing it on a table and turning the console and tv off. As gently as I can manage, I move Alex's hand, so it's resting next to him. He rolls onto his back, mumbling something about tacos, and I smile. Staring down at him, the small smile on my lips fades as I notice his deep, steady breathing. A pulse beats against the the fragile skin of his throat, seeming to permeate the bedroom with the sweet, warm smell of his blood. Glancing at the clock again, I breathe in lightly, swallowing hard and moving quickly and silently from the room.

My head clears slightly as I creep outside. A full moon hangs fat and bright in the sky, illuminating the sprawling fairgrounds. Catching a stray whiff of cigarette smoke and overbearing cologne, I briskly make my way to the other side of the building, not wanting to run into the french boy. Almost shamed at my own cowardice, I take refuge by one of the outhouses, ignoring the chemical stink and plunking down to sit against the splintered wood. The ground is still soft from the previous night's storms, and I idly poke my fingers into the damp soil. A patch of clouds pass over the moon, darkening the grounds. My thoughts seem to take a similar turn, as a swirl of voices echo in my ears.

They're going to come after you...
...you'll be the death of him...
....nothing but a monster.
...wrong to trust you...
He doesn't care...

Squeezing my temples between my palms, I bite down a sob.

I can't break down again. It was too close last night, too dangerous. I have to be strong for them. Alex, Tommy, Sailix, Pyotr. Hell, even Snack Pack. They're mine. They're my responsibility. But they're safe right now. They are. 

Exhaling shakily, I turn my gaze out to the woods, feeling a soft pull in my blood that urges me North towards my own home. Struggling to ignore the sudden yearning, I rise to my feet and shake my head in a vain attempt to unmuddle it. The sky is lightening just enough for a keen eye to notice, and I follow Lumiere's trail of odor back into the building. Reentering Alex and I's room, I'm relieved that the scent of Alex's blood is no longer as overwhelming. He's still in the same position, but his sleeping expression seems uneasy, as if even in slumber he noticed my absence. Pausing only long enough to kick my boots off, I climb onto the mattress next to him and curl against his body.
"I love you Alex, by never in my life will I ever deserve you."
Resting my head on his chest, I close my eyes and let the rise and fall of his chest lull me to sleep.

https://youtu.be/kHg_XwPuY2E