I'm waking up the ghost, not taking out the memories that were dead to me. Now, now I'm getting close. Closer to the enemy that's inside of me.

Why is it so dark? I strain my eyes, but the blackness still envelops my surroundings. What's going on? My senses have never failed me like this. I see nothing. I hear nothing. I smell something...something burned? The void in my senses is overwhelming. Every iota of my being is telling me to run, make an escape somehow. No. I don't run. I'm not scared of the dark. Finally there's the sensation of another presence in the room. A laugh seems to come from nowhere. It's familiar in a way that threatens to push me into hysteria. "Not scared of the dark? That's ok, Maddie. I know what you're scared of." 
No no no...please. There's got to be a way out of this. I cautiously move to my left, feeling my hip graze something. A table. I skim my hand over the top of it, looking for a makeshift weapon. The table is bare. I jerk my hand away. Hearing his laugh again, I clench my jaw. I'm done. Done cowering to him. I'm stronger than that. I'll MAKE myself stronger. I taunt him. "Why don't you show yourself? I never pegged you for a coward. A sick, twisted fuck maybe..."
In a flurry of movement, his arms surround me, more powerful than they should be. I feel the point of his knife digging into my chin. "A sick, twisted fuck, am I?" 
The sound of his belt, more terror inducing than the laugh. "No!" I scream, and grab at the hand with the knife. All I receive is a slice across my palm for my troubles. Moving quick again, too quick. Too strong. He twists my arms behind me, wrapping the belt around my wrists. I try to fight back but as usual, as always, I'm too weak.

He pushes me forward, and I almost fall into the table. When I attempt to steady myself, he grabs the nape of my neck. With a rough shove, he bends me over the cold metal. My struggles are ceased when he slams my face down, bloodying my nose and stunning me. I have to fight him...have to. When he hikes my skirt up, ripping my panties off with a growl, I can feel the fight threatening to flow from me. No, I can't give in! I'm not his...I...oh god. I can't. I can't. When he thrusts himself inside me, I can do nothing but press my bloody face into the table. It feels like he's ripping me apart from the inside. I can feel the sinister kisses of blood dripping down my thighs. Grabbing a handful of my hair, forcing my head back painfully, he snarls in my ear. Each word emphasized with a thrust of his pelvis. "What was that about a sick...twisted...fuck?" I feel his knife against my neck and I almost welcome it. He keeps a steady hold on my hair, perhaps sensing my urge to slash my own throat upon his blade. "Don't you know by now, Maddie. I never let you go. I'm inside you forever." The blade trails along to my back. "Why don't I give you a reminder. A reminder that you're MINE." Something in his voice is different. It sends a whole new fear through me. Maintaining his brutal violation of my body, he presses the knife into my back. An upward slash. A descending diagonal slash. Upward diagonal. Back down in a straight line. The pain of his cutting doesn't compare to...Stop. Stop. He's laughing at he starts a new letter. Why...why does he sound like... A circle, the blood already dripping down my back. The new letter, similar to the first. I'm finally learning his name! I think to myself, near delirious. The first one was a...M...it was an M. Then the circle...an O. He finishes the third letter. An...N? Creeping dread. I feel the curve of the G before he even finishes carving it into my flesh. What? WHAT?! What is this?! The laugh is familiar in the worst way. His voice is recognizable as he hisses in my ear. "Do you understand now, Maddie? Do you get it...you crazy fucking bitch?!"

I scream, my fear reverberating through the room. The lights come on, blinding me. Mongrel growls and I feel his hand rear back to slash me with his claws. I feel the wind from his swipe as I propel myself over the table, landing with a painful thud on the cold concrete. He roars and flings the table away. "You little whore! It's your fault I'm doing this! Just take what you fucking deserve!" I cover my face with my hands, unable to believe it's him doing this to me. Please please. Let this stop. Not him! Not Mongrel! I can't I can't.. His claws catch me across my arms as I curl into my defensive position. I won't hurt him! Nothing can make me! Like a wild animal, he pounces on me, pinning me to the ground. His nails digging agonizingly into my skin. "It's time to put you down, you monster. You're disgusting." He pulls a stake from his coat pocket. I blink frantically to try to clear the blood tinged tears from my eyes as I stare into his cold yellow gaze. He's not in there. Oh, god. What have I done to him? He thrusts the stake towards my chest. In my only act of defense, I thrash hard enough to throw his aim off course. "Stop trying to halt the inevitable! You knew this was coming. What would I want with a murdering heartless bitch like you?!" 
In desperation, I speak to him. My voice is wavering. "Mongrel, please! You...you don't want to do this! I know you Mongrel. You..." I choke, afraid to speak my next words. "...you love me? I know you don't want to do this." I flinch, waiting for him to deliver a killing blow. But...wait...his eyes change. His expression softens, becoming the familiar face I know.
He blinks a few times, and the stake drops from his hand. "Oh god..." he gasps. "...you're right, Maddie. I'm so sor..."

A deafening blast pierces the room, I reflexively clench my eyes shut. I feel the heavy spatter of liquid spray my skin. Dead weight on my body. The fuck? Opening my eyes, expecting the sight of Mongrel's confused face. Instead I see...I see. "NO! OH GOD PLEASE NO!" I shriek wordlessly, taking in the horrific sight. Mongrel's headless corpse rests almost comfortably on me. I'm covered, soaked...drowning in his blood. I taste it on my lips as my mouth contorts in terror. NononopleasenoonononMongrelnonono. My mouth snaps shut, cutting of my scream as my eyes focus on the figure hovering over us. Standing over me, gun pointed where my Mongrel's head used to be. HIM.

Pyotr sneers at me. His deep accent is heavy with anger. "That. Is for not following orders."
Orders? Orders? ORDERS?! I push myself up to my feet, flinching at the feel of Mongrel's corpse slipping off of me. I want nothing more than to crawl onto the ground. Embrace the shell of the Gangrel that owns my heart. Die with him in defeat. No. Pyotr. That treacherous BASTARD! KILL HIM! Unthinking, I leap towards the Regent, armed with nothing but my body and my fury. Wrapping my hands around his neck, I sink my fangs into his face. Ripping. Tearing. Knowing I can't kill him, simply wanting to cause him even an ounce of the pain I feel. Pyotr howls in anger, leveling the gun at my temple. "DO IT YOU BETRAYING FUCK! KILL ME!" Please kill me! I can't live without him! The gun goes off and I'm tossed to the ground. The side of my head feels like a shattered ruin. I can't see out of my left eye. The blood pouring from my demolished skull isn't enough. The tears seeping from one remaining eye aren't enough. I'll die for you Mongrel. It's all I can do. I cough, and muster up the spirit to spit a mouthful of blood at the stone faced killer. "Go ahead, you power hungry fuck. Finish the fucking job. You just took all I have to live for, what else is left?" 
His face is cold, impassive. "I suppose...nothing." His finger tenses on the trigger as I turn my head. My final sight is of my Mongrel. My fault. My fault. The thunder of the gun going off as I'm riddled with bullets, my body torn to shreds. The last sound I hear, a disembodied manic giggling. The bewildering toot of a...vuvuzela?

"SERENDIPITY!" I yell aloud as I awaken. I scramble from the bathtub where I was sleeping, pulling the shower curtain off the hooks as I tumble to the floor. I frantically dart my eyes around the bathroom. My face is sticky with blood tears. Oh, god get him out of my head! Panting and shaking, I pull the curtain around me like a blanket. "'Dipity...that...fucking....."